229Anger
In our deeper honesty and ownership of our true person, there
is room for expressing anger at God. Many people who are cut off
from God shut down emotionally because they feel that it is not
safe to tell him how angry they are at him. Until they feel the
anger, they cannot feel the loving feelings underneath the anger.
Job wanted to fully express his anger and disappointment
with God to God (Job 13:3). But before he did this, he had to be
sure of two things. He wanted God (1) to withdraw his hand of
punishment and (2) to start communicating with him (v. 21). Job
knew that if he were secure in the relationship, he could tell
God what he really felt.
We often fear being honest because it was not safe to
express honesty in our earthly relationships. With Job we fear
both abandonment and retaliation. People abandoned us or
attacked us when we told them how we really felt.
Rest assured, however, that God desires truth in our “inner
parts” (Ps. 51:6). He is seeking people who will have a real rela-
tionship with him (John 4:23–24). He wants to hear it all, no
matter how bad it seems to us. When we own what is within our
boundaries, when we bring it into the light, God can transform
it with his love.
Respecting His Boundaries
God expects his boundaries to be respected as well. When
he makes choices, or says no to us, that is his right, his freedom.
If we are to have a real relationship with him, we need to respect
that freedom. When we try and put him into binds where he
“has to do something,” we are testing his freedom. When we are
angry with him for what he does not do, we are not allowing him
the freedom to be who he is.
The basic problem in human relationship is that of freedom.
We call people bad because they do not do what we want them
to do. We judge them for being themselves, for fulfilling their
wishes. We withdraw love from them when they do what they
feel is best for them, but it is not what we want them to do.
Boundaries and God