283She became more honest, less blaming, and much less resentful.
Ben, in his turn, began developing more of a sense of responsi-
bility toward the family. He even felt more tender toward his
wife—even after she nailed him to the wall several times about
his irresponsibility!
Ben smiled. “Honey,” he said to her, “this last year has been
a one-hundred-eighty degree change from the one before. We
saved some money. We achieved some financial goals. We’re
more honest with each other. We like each other better. And
you’re not running off helping every committee in town who
needs a volunteer!”
Jan responded, “Well, I don’t need to anymore. I’ve got what
I want here, with you, the kids, our church support group, and
the ministries we work in. Tell you what. Let’s plan what we
want to do—with ourselves, with the Lord, with our money, and
with our friends—and make next year even better!”
Ben and Jan were reaping the fruit of years of work. Their
maturing boundary-setting abilities were paying off in all sorts
of ways. After all, the ultimate goal of learning boundaries is to
free us up to protect, nurture, and develop the lives God has
given us stewardship over. Setting boundaries is mature, proac-
tive, initiative-taking. It’s being in control of our lives.
Individuals with mature boundaries aren’t frantic, in a hurry,
or out of control. They have a direction in their lives, a steady
moving toward their personal goals. They plan ahead.
The reward for their wise boundaries is the joy of desires ful-
filled in life. Their investments in the years God has given pay
off for them. It’s a lot like Paul reflected at the end of his life:
The time has come for my departure. I have fought the
good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
(2 Tim. 4:6–7)
But does life interrupt the process of the person with mature
boundaries? Won’t there be trials, complications, and people
wanting me on their track and not God’s? Absolutely. The days
truly are evil. There will be all sorts of resistances to our bound-
aries and goals.
How to Measure Success with Boundaries