343Chapter One
What About Mom,
Anyhow?
Beth hung up the phone, frustrated, confused, and discour-
aged. She had just spent ninety minutes talking to her mother—
ninety minutes of wasted time. As a working mother, Beth didn’t
have that kind of time to spare.
She had tried to explain to her mom that their vacation plans
wouldn’t include a visit to see her. “You know we’d love to see
you,” Beth said, trying to reason with her mom, “but this vacation
we really wanted to see the Grand Canyon.”
The silence that followed was too familiar to Beth. Hurt, dis-
tance, and coldness were the hallmarks of saying no to her mother.
Beth tried to scramble and make some connection with her.
“Mom, we’ll make a real effort to see you on the next trip.”
“That won’t be necessary. I’m sure you’ll be too busy for me
then too.” Her mother hung up, and the dial tone accented that
ache in Beth’s stomach that she knew too well. Again, she realized
that her mother couldn’t be pleased; Beth was always “not
enough,” or “too much” something. It was confusing: Was she
really an ungrateful, selfish daughter, or did her mother have too
many expectations?
Beth loved her mother deeply and desired more than anything
to have a close, respectful relationship with her. She remembered
the commandment to “honor thy father and mother,” and thought,
This is impossible. If I honor her, I dishonor my family, and if I