still and thinking about nothing, is one of
those things that can be just as stupidly
simple as it is surprisingly hard. It
reminds me of those contests where a
bunch of people stand around a brand-
new car or truck, and whoever leaves
their hands on it the longest gets to take
it home. The winner winds up on the
front page of her local paper, victorious
and sleepy, smiling from behind the
wheel of her newly-won ride with a
thumbs up for the camera: “Tarrytown’s
very own Jill Boender was the proud
winner of the 2012 Chevy Stand Off,
held in Green Bay, Wisconsin, this past
weekend. Jill beat out 68 other
contestants from around the country by
tuis.
(Tuis.)
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