The Daily Stoic

A

November    28th

IT’S    NOT ON  THEM,   IT’S    ON  YOU

“If someone is  slipping    up, kindly  correct them    and point   out what    they    missed. But if  you can’t,

blame   yourself—or no  one.”

—MARCUS AURELIUS,   MEDITATIONS,    10.4

good teacher knows that when a student is failing, the blame falls on the instructor, not the pupil. How
much more generous and tolerant would we be if we could extend this understanding to other spheres in
our life? To be able to see that if a friend is unreliable, maybe it’s because they don’t know what’s wrong
or because we haven’t tried to help them fix their flaw. If an employee is underperforming, just talk to
them or figure out if they’re lacking in support. If someone is being annoying, try talking to them about the
problem with their behavior, or ask yourself: Why am I being so sensitive?
And if this doesn’t work, try letting it go. It might be an isolated incident anyway.