The Daily Stoic

(Dana P.) #1

S


March   12th
SEEING THINGS AS THE PERSON AT FAULT DOES

“Whenever   someone has done    wrong   by  you,    immediately consider    what    notion  of  good    or  evil
they had in doing it. For when you see that, you’ll feel compassion, instead of astonishment or
rage. For you may yourself have the same notions of good and evil, or similar ones, in which
case you’ll make an allowance for what they’ve done. But if you no longer hold the same
notions, you’ll be more readily gracious for their error.”
—MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 7.26

ocrates, perhaps the wisest person to ever live, used to say that “nobody does wrong willingly.”
Meaning that no one is wrong on purpose either. Nobody thinks they’re wrong, even when they are.
They think they’re right, they’re just mistaken. Otherwise, they wouldn’t think it anymore!
Could it be that the slights you’ve experienced or the harm that others have done to you was not
inflicted intentionally? What if they simply thought they were doing the right thing—for them, even for
you? It’s like the memorial for Confederate soldiers at Arlington (obviously a cause that was wrongly
fought for by people doing wrong), which states, in part, that the Confederate soldiers served “in simple
obedience to duty, as they understood it.” Again—they understood wrongly, but it was their genuine
understanding, just as Lincoln was genuine when he ended his famous Cooper Union speech by saying,
“Let us, to the end, dare to do our duty as we understand it.”
How much more tolerant and understanding would you be today if you could see the actions of other
people as attempts to do the right thing? Whether you agree or not, how radically would this lens change
your perspective on otherwise offensive or belligerent actions?

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