INTRODUCTION

unfolding dysfunctional process, freedom from
unconsciousness is possible. For example, the woman's
hostility could become a signal for the man tocome out of
his mind-identified state, awaken into the Now, become
present—insteadofbecomingevenmoreidentifiedwithhis
mind, even more unconscious. Instead of "being" the pain-
body, the woman could be the knowing that watches the
emotional pain in herself, thus accessing the power of the
Nowandinitiatingthetransmutationofthepain.Thiswould
removethe compulsive andautomaticoutward projectionof
it.Shecouldthenexpressherfeelingstoherpartner.Thereis
noguarantee,ofcourse,thathewilllisten,butitgiveshima
good chance to become present and certainly breaks the
insane cycle of the involuntary acting out of old mind
patterns. If the woman misses that opportunity, the man
couldwatch hisown mental-emotional reactiontoher pain,
his own defensiveness, rather than being the reaction. He
couldthenwatchhisownpain-bodybeingtriggeredandthus
bring consciousness into his emotions. In this way, a clear
andstill spaceof pure awareness wouldcome intobeing—
theknowing,thesilent witness,thewatcher.Thisawareness
doesnotdenythepainandyetisbeyondit.Itallowsthepain
to be and yet transmutes it at the same time. It accepts
everything and transforms everything. A door would have
openedupforherthroughwhichshecouldeasilyjoinhimin
thatspace.
Ifyouareconsistentlyorat least predominantlypresent
in your relationship, this will be the greatest challenge for
yourpartner.Theywillnot beabletotolerate your presence
for very long and stay unconscious. If they are ready, they
willwalkthroughthedoorthatyouopenedforthemandjoin
youinthatstate.Iftheyarenot,youwillseparatelikeoiland
water. The light is too painful for someone who wants to
remainindarkness.