define a very specific trigger. For instance, a trigger might be
“When I’m feeling frustrated (emotional state) in my weekly
meeting (time) with Bob (people) because he says ‘I haven’t really
thought about it (action).’”
Identifying the Old Habit: Instead Of...
Articulate the old habit, so you know what you’re trying to stop
doing. Again, the more specific you can make it, the more useful
it’s going to be. For instance (and to carry on the example above),
“I ask Bob, ‘Have you thought about X?’ and hope he’ll get the
suggestion that I’ve disguised as a pseudo-question, all the while
thinking bad thoughts about Bob.”
Deˁning the New Behaviour: I Will...
Define the new behaviour, one that will take sixty seconds or less
to do. We know that the fundamental shift of behaviour you’re
looking to accomplish through this book is to give less advice and
show more curiosity. And what’s great about the Seven Essential
Questions that you’re about to discover is that you can definitely
ask each one in sixty seconds or less.
So to finish our example, “I will ask Bob, ‘So what ideas do you
have now?’”
At the end of each chapter on one of the Seven Essential
Questions, I’m going to ask you to build your own habit based on
that question. We’ll keep revisiting these concepts and give you
some real examples for each question so you can see how the New