How to Say “No”
All this figuring and calculating and deciding won’t do you a bit of
good if you aren’t able to act on your decisions.
The moment is at hand. The out-going chair (desperate to find
a replacement) has asked you to shoulder the burden. What do
you say?
1. Beware the automatic “yes.” You may have gotten into your
time-crunch because you have a very hard time saying
“no.” But you’ve learned by bitter experience that it’s much
harder to get out of something later than to turn it down
now. And, you’re trying to face up to your inner demons.
2. Buy time. Unless you’re already certain of your response
one way or the other, ask for time to think about it. This
is both a reasonable and a truthful response. You really
do want and need time to think about it (if not to pull
out various lists and rating scales). Realize, however, that
you will have to respond eventually, and by delaying your
response, you may have created a situation in which oth-
ers believe that you have tacitly agreed. Your delay also
may make it very difficult ultimately to decline because
no time is left to recruit a replacement.
3. If the answer is “no,” say “no.” Say it gracefully, but say it.“I’m really flattered that you’d think of me. Thank you so much.
But I’m going to have to turn the opportunity down.”
And then shut up!
4. Deflect the conversation. Decline the offer and suggest
an alternative.“Thank you for thinking of me, but I’m going to have to decline.
I bet Bill would be perfect for the job, don’t you?”
L E A R N I N G T O S AY “N O”