I tried to think of what she was referring to. I couldn't.
'What?' I said.
'My period,' she said.
Men cannot respond when the P-word is being talked about. For the most part,
it freaks them out.
'Really? How?' I said, struggling for words.
'What do you mean how? It should have happened yesterday, the 25th, but
hasn't.'
'Are you sure?'
'Excuse me? I wouldn't know if it has happened?' she said and stopped to look
at me.
'No, I meant are you sure it was due on 25th Feb?' 'I am not that bad at
maths.'
'Ok but...,' I said. I had created the problem. I had nothing of value to offer in
the discussion. I offered her groundnuts. She declined.
'But what?' she said.
'But we used protection. And how does it work with girls? Are they always on
time?' I asked. Nothing in the world was always exactly on time.
'Mine are. Normally I don't care. But now that I am with you, even a slight
delay scares me. And the anxiety creates more delay'
'Do you want to see a doctor?' I was desperate to suggest a solution.
'And say what? Please check if I am pregnant?'
Another P-word to freak men out. No, she did not say that 'You can't be
pregnant?' I said.
Sweat erupted on my forehead like I had jogged thrice around the ATIRA lawns.
I rubbed my hands and took deep breaths.
'Why not?' she retorted, her face tense. 'And can you be supportive and not
hyperventilate.'
'Let's sit down,' I said and pointed to a bench. I threw the packet of groundnuts
in the dustbin. She sat next to me. I debated whether I should put my arm
around her. My being close to he had caused this anyway. She kept quiet. Two
tears came rolling out of her eyes. God, I had to figure out something. My mind
processed the alternatives at lightning speed, (a) Make her laugh - bad idea,{b)
Step away and let her be - no, (c) Suggest potential solutions like the A word - hell
no, (d) Hold her - maybe, ok hold her, hold her and tell her you will be there for her.
Do it, moron.
I slid closer to her on the bench and embraced her. She hid her face on my
shoulder and cried. Her hands clutched my shirt
'Don't worry, I will be there for you,' I said.
'Why, why is it so unfair? Why do only I have to deal with this?' she cried, 'why
can't you get pregnant at the same time?'
Because I am biologically male, I wanted to say. But I think she knew that.
'Listen Vidya, we used the rhythm method, we used protection I know it is not
hundred per cent but the probability is so low...'
Vidya just shook her head and cried. Maths is always horrible at reassuring
people. Nobody believed in probability in emotional moments.
A family walked by. The man carried a fat boy on his shoulders. I found it
symbolic of the potential burden in my life. The thought train started again. I am
twenty-two years old. I have big dreams for my business. I have my mother to
avery
(avery)
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