feelingandtrustthattheywillstillloveyouandnothurtyouwithcriticism,judgment,orrejection.
Whenyoucansharewhoyouareandhowyoufeel,thenyoucanfullyreceivelove.Ifyouhavethislove,
itiseasiertoreleasenegativeemotionalsymptomslikeresentment,anger,fear,andsoforth.Thisdoes
notmeanthatyouneedtoshareeverythingyoufeelanddiscoverinprivate.Butiftherearefeelingsthat
youareafraidtoshare,thengraduallythesefearsneedtobehealed.
Alovingtherapistorclosefriendcanbeatremendoussourceofloveandhealingifyoucanshareyour
inneranddeepestfeelings.Ifyoudon'thaveatherapist,thenhavingafriendreadyourlettersfromtime
totimeisvery helpful. Writinginprivatewillmakeyoufeelbetter;butoccasionally sharingyourLove
Letterswithanotherpersonwhocaresandcanbeunderstandingisessential.
The Power of the Group
Thepowerofgroupsupportissomethingthatcannotbedescribedbuthastobeexperienced.Alovingand
supportivegroupcandowonderstohelpusmoreeasilygetintouchwithourdeeperfeelings.Toshare
yourfeelingswith agroup meanstherearemorepeopleavailableto giveyoulove. The potential for
growthismagnifiedbythesizeofthegroup.Evenifyoudonotspeakoutinagroup,bylisteningtoothers
speakopenlyandhonestlyabouttheirfeelings,yourawarenessandinsightexpand.
WhenIleadgroupseminarsaroundthecountryIrepeatedlyexperiencedeeperpartsofmyselfthatneed
tobeheard andunderstood. When someonestandsupand shares theirfeelings, suddenly Ibeginto
remembersomethingorfeelsomethingmyself.Igainvaluablenewinsightsaboutmyselfandothers.At
theendofeachseminarIgenerallyfeelmuchlighterandmoreloving.
Everywheresmallsupportgroupsonalmosteverytopicmeeteachweektogiveandreceivethissupport.
Groupsupportisespeciallyhelpfulifaschildrenwedidnotfeelsafetoexpressourselvesingroupsorin
ourfamily.Whileanypositivegroupactivityisempowering,speakingorlisteninginalovingandsupportive
groupcanbepersonallyhealing.
Imeetregularlywithasmallmen'ssupportgroup,andmywife,Bonnie,meetsregularlywithherwomen's
supportgroup.Gettingthisoutsidesupportgreatlyenhancesourrelationship.Itfreesusfromlookingto
eachotherasthe solesourceofsupport.In addition, by listeningtootherssharetheirsuccessesand
failuresourownproblemstendtoshrink.
Taking Time to Listen
Whetheryouareprivatelywritingdownyourthoughtsandfeelingsonyourcomputerorsharingthemin
therapy,inyourrelationships,orinasupportgroup,youaretakinganimportantstepforyourself.When
youtakethetimetolistentoyourfeelingsyouareineffectsayingtothelittlefeelingpersoninside"You