fulfillherrequestbecauseIhavegivenmyword.
11 .Iwillsayyestoa"canyou,"butinsideIresenther.IfeelthatifIsaynoshewillthrowafit.Ifeel
manipulated.Whensheasks"wouldyou,"Ifeetfreetosayyesorno.Itisthenmychoice,andthenI
wanttosayyes.
12 .Whenawomanasksme"Wouldyoudothis?"IfeelassuredinsidethatIamgoingtogetapointfor
this.Ifeelappreciatedandhappytogive.
13 .WhenIheara"wouldyou"IfeelIambeingtrustedtoserve.ButwhenIheara"canyou"or"could
you"Ihearaquestionbehindthequestion.SheisaskingmeifIcanemptythetrashwhenitisobvious
thatIcould.Butbehindherquestionistherequest,whichshedoesn'ttrustmeenoughtodirectlyask.
14 .Whenawomanasks"wouldyou"or"willyou"Ifeelhervulnerability.Iammuchmoresensitivetoher
andherneeds;Idefinitelydon'twanttorejecther.Whenshesays"couldyou"Iammuchmoreapttosay
nobecauseIknowitisnotarejectionofher.ItissimplyanimpersonalstatementsayingIcan'tdoit.She
won'ttakeitpersonallyifIsaynotoa"Couldyoudothis?"
15 .Forme,"wouldyou"makesitpersonal,andIwanttogive,but"couldyou"makesitimpersonal,andI
willgiveifitisconvenientorifIdon'thaveanythingelsetodo.
16 .Whenawomansays"Couldyoupleasehelpme?"IcanfeelherresentmentandIwillresisther,butif
shesays"Wouldyoupleasehelpme"Ican'thearanyresentment,evenifthereissome.Iamwillingto
sayyes.
17 .Whenawomansays"Couldyoudothisforme?"Igetkindofhonestandsay"I'drathernot."Thelazy
partofmecomesout.ButwhenIheara"Wouldyouplease?"Ibecomecreativeandstartthinkingofways
tohelp.
Onewaywomenaresuretorelatetothesignificantdifferencebetweenwouldandcouldistoreflectfora
momentonthisromanticscene.Imagineamanproposingmarriagetoawoman.Hisheartisfull,likethe
moonshiningabove.Kneelingbeforeher,hereachesouttoholdherhands. Thenhegazesupintoher
eyesandgentlysays,"Couldyoumarryme?"
Immediatelytheromanceisgone.Usingthecwordheappearsweakandunworthy.Inthatmoment,he
reeksofinsecurityandlowself-esteem.Ifinsteadhesaid"Wouldyoumarryme?"thenbothhisstrength
andvulnerabilityarepresent.Thatisthewaytopropose.
Similarly,amanrequires thatawomanproposeherrequests inthismanner.Usethewwords.Thec
wordssoundtoountrusting,indirect,weak,andmanipulative.
Whenshesays"Couldyouemptythetrash?"themessagehereceivesis"Ifyoucanemptyitthenyou
shoulddoit.Iwoulddoitforyou!"Fromhispointofviewhefeelsitisobviousthathecan doit.In