Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

(Tina Meador) #1

fulfillherrequestbecauseIhavegivenmyword.


11 .Iwillsayyestoa"canyou,"butinsideIresenther.IfeelthatifIsaynoshewillthrowafit.Ifeel
manipulated.Whensheasks"wouldyou,"Ifeetfreetosayyesorno.Itisthenmychoice,andthenI
wanttosayyes.


12 .Whenawomanasksme"Wouldyoudothis?"IfeelassuredinsidethatIamgoingtogetapointfor
this.Ifeelappreciatedandhappytogive.


13 .WhenIheara"wouldyou"IfeelIambeingtrustedtoserve.ButwhenIheara"canyou"or"could
you"Ihearaquestionbehindthequestion.SheisaskingmeifIcanemptythetrashwhenitisobvious
thatIcould.Butbehindherquestionistherequest,whichshedoesn'ttrustmeenoughtodirectlyask.


14 .Whenawomanasks"wouldyou"or"willyou"Ifeelhervulnerability.Iammuchmoresensitivetoher
andherneeds;Idefinitelydon'twanttorejecther.Whenshesays"couldyou"Iammuchmoreapttosay
nobecauseIknowitisnotarejectionofher.ItissimplyanimpersonalstatementsayingIcan'tdoit.She
won'ttakeitpersonallyifIsaynotoa"Couldyoudothis?"


15 .Forme,"wouldyou"makesitpersonal,andIwanttogive,but"couldyou"makesitimpersonal,andI
willgiveifitisconvenientorifIdon'thaveanythingelsetodo.


16 .Whenawomansays"Couldyoupleasehelpme?"IcanfeelherresentmentandIwillresisther,butif
shesays"Wouldyoupleasehelpme"Ican'thearanyresentment,evenifthereissome.Iamwillingto
sayyes.


17 .Whenawomansays"Couldyoudothisforme?"Igetkindofhonestandsay"I'drathernot."Thelazy
partofmecomesout.ButwhenIheara"Wouldyouplease?"Ibecomecreativeandstartthinkingofways
tohelp.


Onewaywomenaresuretorelatetothesignificantdifferencebetweenwouldandcouldistoreflectfora
momentonthisromanticscene.Imagineamanproposingmarriagetoawoman.Hisheartisfull,likethe
moonshiningabove.Kneelingbeforeher,hereachesouttoholdherhands. Thenhegazesupintoher
eyesandgentlysays,"Couldyoumarryme?"


Immediatelytheromanceisgone.Usingthecwordheappearsweakandunworthy.Inthatmoment,he
reeksofinsecurityandlowself-esteem.Ifinsteadhesaid"Wouldyoumarryme?"thenbothhisstrength
andvulnerabilityarepresent.Thatisthewaytopropose.


Similarly,amanrequires thatawomanproposeherrequests inthismanner.Usethewwords.Thec
wordssoundtoountrusting,indirect,weak,andmanipulative.


Whenshesays"Couldyouemptythetrash?"themessagehereceivesis"Ifyoucanemptyitthenyou
shoulddoit.Iwoulddoitforyou!"Fromhispointofviewhefeelsitisobviousthathecan doit.In

Free download pdf