Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

(Tina Meador) #1

Common Questions About Asking for Support


Thisfirststepcanbedifficult.Herearesomecommonquestions,whichgivecluestoboththeobjections
andtheresistancethatwomenmayhave.


1 .Question.Awomanmightfeel,WhyshouldIhavetoaskhimwhenIdon'trequirehimtoaskme?


Answer:Remember,menarefromMars;theyaredifferent.Byacceptingandworkingwithhisdifferences
youwillgetwhatyouneed.If,instead,youtrytochangehimhewillstubbornlyresist.Althoughaskingfor
whatyouwantisnotsecondnaturetoVenusians,youcandoitwithoutgivingupwhoyouare.Whenhe
feelslovedandappreciatedhewillgraduallybecomemorewillingtoofferhissupportwithoutbeingasked.
Thatisalaterstage.


2 .Question.Awomanmayfeel,WhyshouldIappreciatewhathedoeswhenIamdoingmore?


Answer:Martiansgivelesswhentheydonotfeelappreciated.Ifyouwanthimtogivemore,thenwhathe
needsismoreappreciation.Menaremotivatedbyappreciation.Ifyouaregivingmoreitmay,ofcourse,
behardtoappreciatehim.Gracefullybegintogivelesssothatyoucanappreciatehimmore.Bymaking
thischange,notonlyareyousupportinghiminfeelingloved,butyouwillalsogetthesupportyouneed
anddeserve.


3 .Question.Awomanmayfeel,IfIhavetoaskhimforsupport,hemaythinkheisdoingmeafavor.


Answer:Thisishowheshouldfeel.Agiftofloveisafavor.Whenamanfeelsheisdoingyouafavor,he
isthengivingfromhisheart.Remember,he'saMartiananddoesn'tkeepscorethewayyoudo.Ifhefeels
thatyouaretellinghimheisobligatedtogive,hisheartclosesandhegivesless.


4 .Question.Awomanmayfeel,Ifhelovesmeheshouldjustofferhissupport,Ishouldn'thavetoask.


Answer:RemembermenarefromMars;theyaredifferent.Menwaittobeasked.Insteadofthinking,Ifhe
lovesmehewillofferhissupport,considerthisthought,IfhewereaVenusianhewouldofferhissupport,
buthe'snot,he'saMartian.Byacceptingthisdifference,hewillbemuchmorewillingtosupportyou,and
graduallyhewillbegintoofferhissupport.


5 .Question.Awomanmayfeel,IfIhavetoaskforthingshewillthinkIamnotgivingasmuchasheis.I
amafraidhemayfeellikehedoesn'thavetogivememore!


Answer:Amanismoregenerouswhenhefeelsasthoughhedoesn'thavetogive.Inaddition,whena
manhearsawomanaskingforsupport(inarespectfulway),whithealsohearsisthatshefeelsentitledto
thatsupport.Hedoesnotassumeshehasgivenless.Quitethecontrary,heassumesshemustbegiving
moreoratleastasmuchasheis,andthatiswhyshefeelsgoodaboutasking.


6 .Question.Awomanmayfeel,WhenIaskforsupport,Iamafraidtobebrief.IwanttoexplainwhyI

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