Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

(Tina Meador) #1

wasfiveyearsold.Sheaskedmetoliftherupanddotricks,andIsaid,"No,Ican'ttoday.Iamrealtired."


Shepersisted,askingplayfully,"Please,Daddy,please,Daddy,justoneflip."


Thefriendsaid,"Now,Lauren,yourfatheristired.Hehasworkedhardtoday.Youshouldn'task."


Laurenimmediatelyrespondedbysaying,"Iamjustasking!"


"Butyouknowyourfatherlovesyou,"myfriendsaid."Hecan'tsaynotoyou."


(Thetruthis,ifhecan'tsayno,that'shisproblem,nothers.)


Immediatelymywifeandallthreedaughterssaid,"Ohyeshecan!"


Iwasproudofmyfamily.Ithastakenalotofwork,butgraduallywehavelearnedtoaskforsupportand
alsotoacceptno.


STEP 3 :PRACTICEASSERTIVEASKING........................................................................................


Onceyouhavepracticedstep 2 andyoucangraciouslyacceptano,youarereadyforstep 3 .Inthisstep
youassertyourfullpowertogetwhatyouwant.Youaskforhissupport,andifhestartsmakingexcuses
andresistsyourrequest,youdon'tsay"OK"asinstep 2 .InsteadyoupracticemakingitOKthatheresists
butcontinuewaitingforhimtosayyes.


Let'ssayheisonhiswaytobed,andyouaskhim."Wouldyoureplywith"Imadeyoudinner,Iwashed
thedishes,Igotthekidsreadyforbed,andallyoudidwasplantyourselfonthiscouch!Idon'taskfor
much,butatleastyoucouldhelpnow.Iamsoexhausted.IfeellikeIdoeverythingaroundhere."


Theargumentstarts.Ontheotherhand,ifyouknowthatgrumblesarejustgrumblesandareoftenhis
wayofstartingtosayyes,yourresponsewillbesilence.Yoursilenceisasignalthatyoutrustthatheis
stretchinginsideandabouttosayyes.


Stretchingisanotherwaytounderstandaman'sresistancetoyourrequests.Wheneveryouaskformore,
hehastostretchhimself.Ifheisnotinshape,hecan'tdoit.Thatiswhyyouhavetoprepareamanfor
step 3 bymovingthroughsteps 1 and 2.


Inaddition,youknowthatitismoredifficulttostretchinthemorning.Laterinthedayyoucanstretch
muchfartherandeasier.Whenamangrumbles,justimaginethatheisstretchinginthemorning.Oncehe
hasfinishedstretchinghewillfeelgreat.Helustneedstogrumblefirst.


Programming a Man to Say Yes


IfirstbecameconsciousofthisprocesswhenmywifeaskedmetobuysomemilkatthestorewhenIwas
on my way to bed. I remember grumbling out loud. Instead of arguing with me, she just listened,

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