Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

(Tina Meador) #1

The Martians realizedthateven whenthey feltthey werebeing attacked, blamed, orcriticized by the
Venusiansitwasonlytemporary;soontheVenusianswouldsuddenlyfeelbetterandbeveryappreciative
andaccepting. Bylearningtolisten, theMartiansdiscoveredhowmuch theVenusiansreallythrivedon
talkingaboutproblems.


EachMartianfoundpeaceofmindwhenhefinallyunderstoodthataVenusian'sneedtotalkabouther
problemswasnotbecausehewasfailingherinsomeway.InadditionhelearnedthatonceaVenusian
feelsheardshestopsdwellingonherproblemsandbecomesverypositive.Withthisawareness,aMartian
wasabletolistenwithoutfeelingresponsibleforsolvingallherproblems.


Manymenandevenwomenareveryjudgmentaloftheneedtotalkaboutproblemsbecausetheyhave
neverexperiencedhowhealingitcanbe.Theyhavenotseenhowawomanwhofeelsheardsuddenlycan
change,feelbetter,andsustainapositiveattitude.Generallytheyhaveseenhowawoman(probablytheir
mother)whodidnotfeelheardcontinuedtodwellonherproblems.Thishappenstowomenwhentheydo
notfeellovedorheardoveranextendedperiod oftime.Therealproblem,however,isthatshefeels
unloved,notthatsheistalkingaboutproblems.


AftertheMartianslearnedhowtolistentheymadeamostamazingdiscovery.Theybegantorealizethat
listeningtoaVenusiantalkaboutproblemscouldactuallyhelpthemcomeoutoftheircavesinthesame
wayaswatchingthenewsonTVorreadinganewspaper.


Similarly,asmenlearntolistenwithoutfeelingblamedorresponsible,listeningbecomesmucheasier.Asa
mangetsgoodatlistening,herealizesthatlisteningcanbeanexcellentwaytoforgettheproblemsofhis
dayaswellasbringalotoffulfillmenttohispartner.Butondayswhenheisreallystressedhemayneed
tobeinhiscaveandslowlycomeoutbysomeotherdistraction,likethenewsoracompetitivesport.


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TheVenusiansalsofoundpeaceofmindwhentheyfinallyunderstoodthataMartiangoingintohiscave
wasnotasignthathedidn'tloveherasmuch.Theylearnedtobemoreacceptingofhimatthesetimes
becausehewasexperiencingalotofstress.


TheVenusianswerenotoffendedwhenMartianswereeasily distracted.When aVenusiantalkedanda
Martianbecamedistracted,shewouldverypolitelystoptalking,standthere,andwaitforhimtonotice.
Thenshewouldbegintalkingagain.Sheunderstoodthatsometimesitwashardforhimtogivehisfull
attention.TheVenusiansdiscoveredthatbyaskingfortheMartians'attentioninarelaxedandaccepting
mannertheMartianswerehappytoredirecttheirattention.


WhentheMartians werecompletely preoccupiedandin theircaves, the Venusians alsodidnottakeit
personally.Theylearnedthatthiswasnotthetimetohaveintimateconversationsbutatimetotalkabout
problems with their friends or have fun and go shopping. When the Martians thereby feltloved and

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