Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

(Tina Meador) #1

"Iwanttoforgeteverything." "Ifyoudon'tlikeyourjob,thenquit."


"Thehouseisalwaysamess." "It'snotalwaysamess."


"Noonelistenstomeanymore." "ButIamlisteningtoyourightnow."


"Nothingisworking." "Areyousayingitismyfault?"


"Youdon'tlovemeanymore." "OfcourseIdo.That'swhyI'mhere."


"Wearealwaysinahurry." "Wearenot.Fridaywewererelaxed."


"Iwantmoreromance." "AreyousayingIamnotromantic?"


Youcanseehowa"literal"translationofawoman'swordscouldeasilymisleadamanwhoisusedtousing
speechasameansofconveyingonlyfactsandinformation.Wecanalsoseehowaman'sresponsesmight
leadtoanargument. Unclear andunlovingcommunication isthebiggestprobleminrelationships. The
number one complaint women have in relationships is: "I don't feel heard." Even this complaint is
misunderstoodandmisinterpreted!


Aman'sliteraltranslationof"Idon'tfeelheard"leadshimtoinvalidateandarguewithherfeelings.He
thinkshehasheardherifhecanrepeatwhatshehassaid.Atranslationofawomansaying"Idon'tfeel
heard"sothatamancouldcorrectlyinterpretitis:Ifeelasthoughyoudon'tfullyunderstandwhatIreally
meantosayorcareabouthowIfeel.WouldyoushowmethatyouareinterestedinwhatIhavetosay?"


Ifamanreallyunderstoodhercomplaintthenhewouldarguelessandbeabletorespondmorepositively.
Whenmenandwomenareonthevergeofarguing,theyaregenerallymisunderstandingeachother.At
suchtimes,itisimportanttorethinkortranslatewhattheyhaveheard.


Becausemanymendon'tunderstandthatwomenexpressfeelingsdifferently,theyinappropriatelyjudgeor
invalidatetheirpartner'sfeelings.Thisleadstoarguments. TheancientMartianslearnedtoavoidmany
argumentsthroughcorrectunderstanding.Wheneverlisteningstirredupsomeresistance,theyconsulted
theirVenusian/MartianPhraseDictionaryforacorrectinterpretation.


WHENVENUSIANSTALK...............................................................................................................


The followingsection containsvarious excerpts fromthe lostVenusian/Martian Phrase Dictionary.
Eachofthetencomplaintslistedaboveistranslatedsothatamancanunderstandtheirrealandintended
meaning.Eachtranslationalsocontainsahintofhowshewantshimtorespond.


Yousee,whenaVenusianisupsetshenotonlyusesgeneralities,andsoforth, butalsoisaskingfora
particularkindofsupport.Shedoesn'tdirectlyaskforthatsupportbecauseonVenuseveryoneknewthat
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