158 PowerPhrases in Action
PowerPhrases to Handle the Angry
Person Are Short
When someone is angry, let him talk. Say only enough to show
that you are listening. Use PowerPhrases for listening. Defus-
ing anger is as much about what you don’t say as what you do.
Someone who is venting anger needs to talk. That means you
keep quiet so he can talk. Carmen had the most successful
communication of her partnership the day she said the least.
When Mickey had his say without resistance, he became open
to her.
PowerPhrases to Handle the Angry
Person Are Specific
Be attentive to exactly what the angry person says. This person
wants to be understood for the exact reasons that caused the
anger. If your coworker is angry because no one told her that
the shipment would be delayed, rather than saying,
I’m sorry the shipment was delayed.acknowledge the real reason she is upset: No one told her. Make
your comments specific. Say,
I’m sorry no one told you about the delay.If your boss is upset because you didn’t apologize for an
error, don’t say,
I know that error is upsetting to you.