74 The Six Secrets of PowerPhrases
Great job. Who helped?What is the intent behind these remarks? The purpose is to
stick the knife in without allowing listeners to stick it back to
you. The purpose is to spread the poison of your venom with-
out being accountable.
The only place for sarcasm is when you have a high degree
of trust and goodwill and your listener knows there is no mal-
ice intended.
Another way of being mean is to use words that are stronger
than needed. Start speaking by giving your listeners the bene-
fit of a doubt and strengthen your words as you need to.
When you pick your words, create two goals. One goal will
be for what you want listeners to do. A second goal will be a
relationship goal. How do you want the relationship to look
when all is said and done? Does having two goals make finding
the perfect words harder? You bet! It makes it harder—and so
much more effective.
You can find alternatives to silence other than violence. The
alternative to holding back is not to attack. Keep your poison
to yourself and SpeakTall, without being mean when you speak.