sex, family life, and procreation. Among the
Mende people, for example, there exist two societies,
thePoroSociety (for young men) and theBondo
orSandeSociety (for young women), whose main
raison d’être is educational: Their primary goal is
indeed to socialize the males and the females
according to Mende norms. Thus, whereas the
Poro society initiates young boys into Mende man-
hood, the Sande society introduces girls into
Mende womanhood. The initiation covers a 7-year
period and usually begins at the time of puberty.
Only at the end of the initiation process are the
initiates deemed ready for marriage.
Similarly, among the Lamba people, a mother
will always start looking for a wife for her son
among initiated girls from neighboring villages
and would never consider any uninitiated girl
because such a person would not be qualified for
marriage. Initiation indeed breaks one’s bonds
with childhood and prepares one for integration
into the adult community. Among the Wolof,
where no such initiation rites exist, the elders meet
with the bride to give her advice and gifts.
Although there is not one single pattern to ini-
tiate marriage, it is common for the parents and
other close relatives of a young man to contact the
parents of a young woman and start discussing
the possibility of their getting married. If the girl’s
parents should agree, after consulting their daugh-
ter, then marriage negotiations will start. Of course,
quite often, the young man and woman already
know each other and may have expressed interest
in one another.
For example, among the Namwanga people, a
young man in search of a wife will offer an
engagement token (called Insalamu), such as
beads or money, to a woman of his liking. If the
woman accepts the Insalamu, this means that she
has accepted his proposition. The matter is then
brought to the attention of the man’s parents,
who, if they agree with their son’s choice, will
approach the girl’s parents. Good character, an
excellent reputation, an industrious nature, and
a respectful stance toward the elders, rather than
physical appearance and attractiveness, are the
qualities sought after and valued by the parents
while selecting a mate for their son or daughter.
In addition, marriage between close relatives is
not permitted. When endogamous marriage is
the norm, the man and woman are carefully
scrutinized to make sure that they are not closely
related. It is feared that if two closely related
people should marry, their children would die.
One of the most important issues to be
addressed and resolved during the negotiations
period is the payment that the man’s family will
make to the woman’s family. Payment is not made
to purchase the woman, but simply as a token of
appreciation for the good care given to the woman
by her parents. While negotiations go on, the
future husband and wife are encouraged to spend
time together, although they are not expected to
engage in sex prior to their wedding. Payment
would often be made in the form of cattle, chick-
ens, and other animals. Once payment has been
made, the wedding may take place. Some African
communities, such as the Yoruba and the Krio,
organize a prewedding ceremony: When her fiancé
comes to visit her, the bride is kept hidden by her
family. Instead, the man is presented with several
women, usually old. As he recognizes the trickery,
he keeps asking for his fiancée until the latter
appears in the midst of great excitement and joy.Ceremony and Separation
Wedding ceremonies may be simple or complex
affairs, lasting several days. A wedding, when the
cost of the payment made to the bride’s family is
added, may therefore turn out to be a quite expen-
sive proposition to which all the family members
contribute. In general, many rites and rituals are
performed as part of the wedding ceremony.
Prayers, offerings, and sacrifices are made to the
ancestors on behalf of the groom and the bride to
ensure that their union be blessed with many preg-
nancies and safe deliveries.
Among the Yoruba people, for instance, the
oldest woman in attendance will spray gin
(which is closely associated with the ancestors)
on the couple and other relatives to bless the
new marriage. Among the Bemba people of
Central Africa, a woman about to get married is
given a clay pot by her father’s sister. Because
the main purpose of marriage is procreation, the
clay pot stands for the womb that is expected to
be filled and blessed with many pregnancies. A
similar ritual can be observed among the Shona
people of Zimbabwe, when the paternal aunt
hands a clay pot full of water to a bride to bless410 Marriage