out of, get professional help (and possibly drugs). While not a substitute for
therapy, they can be life changing.
I assumed that I would just take Zoloft for the rest of my life. And then we had
kids and all three of them started to struggle with their own form of anxiety. It was
beyond mere worrying. The anxiety was impacting their lives—they stopped doing
sleepovers, slept on the floor of our bedroom, and were worried about everything.
Oakley called his panicky state “Oliver” and our daughter Sawyer called her anxiety
a “What-if Loop.” She once turned to me and said:
“It’s like there’s this “What-if Loop” in my head and once I start thinking about all the “What-ifs” I get stuck thinking
about all the “What-ifs” and I can’t get out of it because there are always “What-ifs.”I knew how scary it was to suffer from it, and it was downright heartbreaking to
see our kids struggling and afraid. It was very eye-opening and frustrating trying to
help them deal with their anxiety because nothing worked. We went to specialists
and tried all kinds of techniques. We set up games with prizes for them to “face
their fears.” It just seemed to get worse.
I came off Zoloft so I could face my own anxiety head on without the help of
drugs. I wanted to understand it better and figure out how to beat it—so I could
help my kids figure out ways to beat theirs. Here’s what I learned.
Trying To Calm Down Does Not Work
I’ve spent countless hours with therapists who have told me and the kids to just
“change the channel” and think about something else. That works if you are merely
worried, but on its own, that strategy doesn’t work for full-blown anxiety. And
there’s a reason. When you feel anxious, you are in a state of physical agitation.
When you tell a person to calm down, you are asking someone to go from 60 mph