By the late 1920s, Gonxha had grown into an attractive young woman,
mature beyond her years. A good student, neat and clean in appearance,
self-disciplined, and well organized, she had already earned a reputation
in the community for her friendliness and willingness to help anyone.
Like her mother, she cared for anyone in need.
But Gonxha was struggling with her decision to become a nun. A gifted
writer and poet, she often carried a small notebook with her in which to
record her poetry and reflections. She continued to play music with her
friends and, at times, entertained thoughts of becoming a writer or a mu-
sician. Many of her friends regretted that she did not pursue these careers,
for her talent was unquestioned.
Trying to decide what do to with her life, Gonxha turned to Father
Jambrekovic for advice. During their discussions, she asked how one knew
whether the calling to serve God was genuine. Father Jambrekovic ex-
plained that if one was truly called, that person would feel such deep joy
at the decision that there could be little doubt. In later years, Mother
Teresa acknowledged that there was no doubt in her mind about her deci-
sion, stating simply that God had made the choice for her.
By 1928, when she was 18, Gonxha was spending more time at the
shrine of the Madonna of Letnice, located a short distance from Skopje
on the slopes of Black Mountain. There she prayed for guidance. The
place had a special meaning to Gonxha. Among the highlights of the
parish year was the annual pilgrimage to the chapel of the Madonna.
When Nikola was alive, the family often made the journey in a horse-
drawn carriage, joining many others on their pilgrimage. After her hus-
band died, Drana made the journey twice a year: once with a group and
once alone and on foot. Gonxha had always looked forward to this trip,
but because of her health, Drana sometimes kept her at home. It was at
the Shrine of the Madonna that Gonxha sought affirmation of her deci-
sion to become a nun.
One day, after returning home from a visit to the shrine, Gonxha in-
formed her mother that she had made up her mind to become a nun. Be-
cause of her interest in missionary work, she intended to apply to the
order of the Loreto Sisters, an Irish branch of the Institute of the Blessed
Virgin Mary who worked with the Jesuits in Bengal. Drana shut herself in
her room. When she came out the next day, she gave her daughter her
blessing, but also warned her that in choosing to become a nun, she must
turn her life over to God without doubt, without fear, without hesitation,
and without remorse.
By this time, Gonxha’s brother, Lazar, had been away from home for
several years, attending school in Austria and then later joining the newly
10 MOTHER TERESA