Selling Yourself in Meetings 159
We give reports, briefings, instructions, and introductions.
We serve on or we chair committees and task forces.
We participate in meetings, seminars, and workshops.
In every one of these scenarios, we’re expected to be active
participants—to speak up.
Why me?
Of all the speaking situations, the ones with the most riding
on them are the professional ones. So colleagues, peers, bosses,
and fellow professionals become the enemy. We’re so petrified by
the fear of failure that we close up, tighten up, and do all the
wrong things.
We tend to let stress overcome us rather than overcoming
stress.
Don’t let self-doubts destroy your effectiveness
Instead of attacking the problems, we often succumb to them.
We think we’re out of our league when we are expected to con-
duct a dynamic meeting. Our hyperactive imaginations scream
our inadequacies. “I’m not good enough.” “I’ll really louse up and
they’ll laugh at me.” “The boss won’t think I’m authoritative
enough.” We produce an endless list of reasons why we may fail,
including, “I’ll be so nervous I’ll forget to zip my fly.”
Notice that the focus is turned inward, on ourselves. We see
ourselves through the magnifying glass of fear and confusion. Ev-
ery misplaced hair makes us think, “I look like a rap star.” Our
deep-seated anxieties set off all kinds of alarms. Our confidence,
if we ever had any, disappears. We envision being publicly ex-
posed as dumb, phony, wrong, inadequate, incompetent, and worse.
We’re stark naked in a meeting room filled with fully clothed
people.
Although this scenario may seem exaggerated for some people,
it’s no less true for others. We look upon ourselves and see the
worst.
We forget that when we’re the audience, we don’t look at other
front-of-the-room speakers in the same searching, scorching light.
There’s the key to overcoming our fear—that and breathing to
relax and regain control of ourselves.