40 How to Sell Yourself
to smile too much if the message is a pleasant, happy one. A fa-
mous former National Football League quarterback has a jaw for-
mation that makes him look like he’s grinning when he’s not. He
has a huge mouth, enormous teeth, and lips that have never met.
He’d throw a pass, and it would be intercepted and returned for a
touchdown by the other team. He’d pull off his helmet and leave
the field with what looked like a huge smile. Believe me, he wasn’t
smiling, but the look once caused John Madden to comment,
“What’s he so happy about?” Of course, I’m talking about John
Elway.
There is such a thing as a nervous smile. It’s an unfortunate
face to show. I’m thinking of the person who’s being interviewed
on television at a moment of terrible stress. Quite often you’ll see
the grieving widow talking about the accident that took her
husband’s life telling the interviewer what a terrible experience it
was and the near-grimace appears like a grin. We wonder if he
had a fabulous insurance policy. Or the people you’ve seen talk-
ing to a reporter while cleaning up after a devastating flood. The
face is really in a resigned “acceptance” mode, but again, it ap-
pears like a grin and we’re left wondering.
Non-smiling faces
There are three non-smiling faces we’re capable of showing to
others. I call them the “closed face,” the “neutral face,” and the
“open face.” Each is produced by the use of the involuntary
muscles of the face. By that I mean we use them all the time with-
out realizing what we’re doing.
The closed face. This is the name I give to the face we pro-
duce when we frown. We draw the brows tightly together (it’s
called the “knit” brow). We narrow the eye slits. (And remember:
The eyes are the window to the soul.) And we produce a vertical
line or lines between the eyebrows.
We do it all the time when we’re deep in thought. (“That’s a
tough one. Let me think about it for a minute.”) This is the face
we use all the time when we’re worried. (“Doctor, tell me the
truth. Is it cancer? Am I going to die?”) And we do it when we’re
angry. (“You promised me a raise. You lied!”) It’s a terrible face
to show an audience. It almost always comes across as stressed
out, furious, or sneaky, and an audience simply doesn’t like what
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