98 How to Sell Yourself
Sometimes we use garbage fillers, phrases, and sentences. I’m
tired of “so to speak,” “if you will,” “as it were, “at this point in
time,” and “in a manner of speaking.” John F. Kennedy had, “Let
me say this about that.” Richard M. Nixon’s classic was, “Let me
make one thing perfectly clear.” Some others we hear all the time:
- “I’m glad you asked me that question.”
- “To be perfectly honest (or frank).”
- “To tell you the truth.” (Have you been lying so far?)
You can probably add several more, but you get the idea.
They’re spoken attempts to get the mind in gear. Instead, stop
and think. - Don’t move your mouth until your mind is in “Drive.”
- Don’t start in “Park.”
- Don’t start in “Reverse.”
- Don’t start in “Neutral.”
Wait until you’re ready to move forward.
It’s difficult; it’s even unnatural. But it’s an essential first step.
It avoids the disastrous pitfall: - Ready.
- Fire.
- Aim.
The “ah...” person who makes “uh...” sounds while “er...” talk-
ing seems unsure, uncertain of where he or she is going, insecure,
and not used to thinking on his feet. The silent pause helps your
audience create a more positive image of you. It also throws your
adversary off balance. Did you hear the question? How are you
going to reply to the hostile remark? And while your adversary is
wondering, you’re thinking, framing your reply. You are in con-
trol of the situation, not your adversary.
Maintain eye contact
The second thing to do as you pause is maintain eye contact
with the person who’s being aggressive, confrontational, intimi-
dating, or obnoxious. That doesn’t mean staring directly into this
person’s eyes. It means finding a comfortable place on his or her
face and keeping your eyes there. Don’t let your eyes wander.