“those who offer help” and “those who need help.” The truth is that we are both.
I’ve learned so much about giving and receiving from the men and women who are engaged in
Wholehearted living but nothing more important than this:
Until we can receive with an open heart, we are never really giving with an open heart. When we attach judgment to receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attach judgment to giving help.For years, I placed value on being the helper in my family. I could help with a crisis or lend money
or dispense advice. I was always happy to help others, but I would have never called my siblings to
ask them for help, especially for support during a shame storm. At the time, I would have vehemently
denied attaching judgment to my generous giving. But now, I understand how I derived self-worth
from never needing help and always offering it.
During the breakdown, I needed help. I needed support and hand-holding and advice. Thank God!
Turning to my younger brother and sisters completely shifted our family dynamics. I gained
permission to fall apart and be imperfect, and they could share their strength and incredible wisdom
with me. If connection is the energy that surges between people, we have to remember that those
surges must travel in both directions.
The Wholehearted journey is not the path of least resistance. It’s a path of consciousness and
choice. And, to be honest, it’s a little counterculture. The willingness to tell our stories, feel the pain
of others, and stay genuinely connected in this disconnected world is not something we can do
halfheartedly.
To practice courage, compassion, and connection is to look at life and the people around us, and
say, “I’m all in.”