In 2008, I was invited to give a talk at a very special event called The UP Experience. I really like the
couple sponsoring the event, so without giving it much thought, I excitedly agreed to do it.
Well, you know how things always sound better when they’re far away and you don’t know the
details? This was one of those things.
I accepted the invitation in late 2008 and never thought about it again until 2009, when the list of
speakers was published on The UP Experience Web site. Suffice it to say that it was an
overwhelmingly prestigious list of folks. And me. The event was billed as “16 of the world’s most
exciting thought-leaders and speakers. One mind-opening day!”
I freaked out. I couldn’t imagine sharing the stage with Robert Ballard (the archaeological
oceanographer who located the Titanic), Gavin Newsom (the mayor of San Francisco), Neil deGrasse
Tyson (the astrophysicist who hosts NOVA and runs the Hayden Planetarium), and David Plouffe (the
genius behind Obama’s presidential campaign). And that’s just four out of the fifteen.
On top of trying to manage feeling like a complete imposter, I was terrified about the format. The
event was modeled after the TED talks (www.ted.com), and each speaker would have only twenty
minutes to share their most innovative ideas with what they were calling a C-suite audience—an
audience of mostly CEOs, CFOs, COOs, and CIOs who were paying $1,000 for the day-long event.
Seconds after I saw the list of speakers, I called my friend Jen Lemen and read the list of names to
her. After the last name, I took a deep breath and said, “I’m not so sure about this.”
Even though we were on the phone and she was thousands of miles away, I could see her shaking
her head. “Put your measuring stick away, Brené.”
I bristled. “What do you mean?”
Jen said, “I know you. You’re already thinking about how to make your twenty-minute talk super
‘researchy’ and complicated.”
I still didn’t get it. “Well, yes. Of course I’m going to be researchy. Do you see this list of people?
They’re ... they’re ... grown-ups.”
Jen chuckled. “Do you need an age-check?”
Dead silence on my end.
Jen explained, “Here’s the thing. You are a researcher, but your best work isn’t from the head; it’s
talking from the heart. You’ll be fine if you do what you do best—tell stories. Keep it real. Keep it
honest.”
I hung up, rolled my eyes, and thought: Tell stories. You’ve got to be kidding? Maybe I could do a