of the spirit. At first Naren feared that the serenity that possessed him in the presence
of the Master was illusory, but his misgivings were gradually vanquished by the calm
assurance transmitted to him by Ramakrishna out of his own experience of
Satchidananda Brahman — Existence, Knowledge, and Bliss Absolute. (This account
of the struggle of Naren's collegiate days summarizes an article on Swami
Vivekananda by Brajendranath Seal, published in the Life of Swami Vivekananda by
the Advaita Ashrama, Mayavati, India.)
Narendra could not but recognize the contrast of the Sturm und Drang of his soul with
the serene bliss in which Sri Ramakrishna was always bathed. He begged the Master to
teach him meditation, and Sri Ramakrishna's reply was to him a source of comfort and
strength. The Master said: 'God listens to our sincere prayer. I can swear that you can
see God and talk with Him as intensely as you see me and talk with me. You can hear
His words and feel His touch.' Further the Master declared: 'You may not believe in
divine forms, but if you believe in an Ultimate Reality who is the Regulator of the
universe, you can pray to Him thus: "O God, I do not know Thee. Be gracious to reveal
to me Thy real nature." He will certainly listen to you if your prayer is sincere.'
Narendra, intensifying his meditation under the Master's guidance, began to lose
consciousness of the body and to feel an inner peace, and this peace would linger even
after the meditation was over. Frequently he felt the separation of the body from the
soul. Strange perceptions came to him in dreams, producing a sense of exaltation that
persisted after he awoke. The guru was performing his task in an inscrutable manner,
Narendra's friends observed only his outer struggle; but the real transformation was
known to the teacher alone — or perhaps to the disciple too.
In 1884, when Narendranath was preparing for the B.A. examination, his family was
struck by a calamity. His father suddenly died, and the mother and children were
plunged into great grief. For Viswanath, a man of generous nature, had lived beyond
his means, and his death burdened the family with a heavy debt. Creditors, like hungry
wolves, began to prowl about the door, and to make matters worse, certain relatives
brought a lawsuit for the partition of the ancestral home. Though they lost it, Narendra
was faced, thereafter, with poverty. As the eldest male member of the family, he had to
find the wherewithal for the feeding of seven or eight mouths and began to hunt a job.
He also attended the law classes. He went about clad in coarse clothes, barefoot, and
hungry. Often he refused invitations for dinner from friends, remembering his starving
mother, brothers, and sisters at home. He would skip family meals on the fictitious plea
that he had already eaten at a friend's house, so that the people at home might receive a
larger share of the scanty food. The Datta family was proud and would not dream of
soliciting help from outsiders. With his companions Narendra was his usual gay self.
His rich friends no doubt noticed his pale face, but they did nothing to help. Only one
friend sent occasional anonymous aid, and Narendra remained grateful to him for life.
Meanwhile, all his efforts to find employment failed. Some friends who earned money
in a dishonest way asked him to join them, and a rich woman sent him an immoral
proposal, promising to put an end to his financial distress. But Narendra gave to these a
blunt rebuff. Sometimes he would wonder if the world were not the handiwork of the
Devil — for how could one account for so much suffering in God's creation?