418 Kant: A Biography
more indicative of his condition than any of the other anecdotes that are
told about the old Kant. There are many, most of them spurious, and all
of them irrelevant for understanding who Kant was.^143 Scheffher reported
on January 4,1802: "It is quite good that the old Kant takes no part in any
decision about himself any longer. The Aenesidemus Schulze may stamp
on him all he wants. Kant has entrusted himself, if not to the hands of god,
then at least in those of time, and time eats all human children, no matter
what their abilities."^144
Kant had always been lean, but during the last years of his life, he lost
even more weight. His muscle tissue diminished constantly. He was aware
of this, declaring at every meal that he believed himself to have "reached
the minimum of muscular substance."^145 His miniscule buttocks created
special difficulties for sitting — and sitting was pretty much all he could do
at that time. In 1801 he could still joke about "the lack of eminence" in his
backside, but in 1802 the lack of muscle mass made it difficult for him to
walk.^146
During the winter of 1802, Kant's health declined further. After every
meal, there would appear an elevation of several inches in his abdomen,
which was hard to the touch. He had to open his clothes to relieve the pres¬
sure it caused. Though apparently not accompanied by pain, it bothered
him. This got better after half a year or so. In the spring of 1803 Wasianski
felt it advisable to provide exercise for Kant. Though he no longer could
walk by himself, he was brought into his garden, but he felt uncomfortable
outside, as though "on a deserted island."^147 Over time he got more used to
the outdoors again, and even undertook a short trip, but he was so frail
that he could hardly enjoy anything. Other problems, such as a complete
lack of teeth, constipation, difficulty in urinating, and loss of the sense of
smell and taste, made life more and more burdensome. During the winter
he frequently complained how tiresome life had become and expressed his
wish to die. "He was of no use to the world and he did not know what to do
with himself."^148
In fact, one of the only joys remaining to him was observing a bird, a
titmouse, that came every spring and sang in his garden. When this bird
came late one year, he said: "It must still be very cold in the Apennines,"
wishing the bird good weather for its homecoming.^149 In 1803 the bird did
not come back. Kant was sad and complained, "My little birdie is not com¬
ing."^150 On April 24, 1803, Kant wrote in his notebook: "According to the
Bible: Our life lasts seventy years, and if it is long eighty, and when it is good,
then it was effort and labor."^151 The summer of 1803 went well enough.