Many of the volunteers I interviewed reported initial episodes of
intense fear and anxiety before giving themselves up to the experience, as
the guides encourage them to do. This is where the flight instructions
come in. Their promise is that if you surrender to whatever happens
(“trust, let go, and be open” or “relax and float downstream”), whatever at
first might seem terrifying will soon morph into something else, and
likely something pleasant, even blissful.
Early in his journey, Patrick encountered his brother’s wife, who died
of cancer more than twenty years earlier, at forty-three. “Ruth acted as
my tour guide,” he wrote, and “didn’t seem surprised to see me. She
‘wore’ her translucent body so I would know her . . . This period of my
journey seemed to be about the feminine.” Michelle Obama made an
appearance. “The considerable feminine energy all around me made clear
the idea that a mother, any mother, regardless of her shortcomings . . .
could never NOT love her offspring. This was very powerful. I knew I was
crying . . . it was here that I felt as if I was coming out of the womb . . .
being birthed again. My rebirth was smooth . . . comforting.”
Outwardly, however, what was happening to Patrick appeared to be
anything but smooth. He was crying, Bossis noted, and breathing heavily.
This is when he first said, “Birth and death is a lot of work,” and seemed
to be convulsing. Then Patrick reached out and clutched Kalliontzi’s hand
while pulling up his knees and pushing, as if he were delivering a baby.
From Bossis’s notes:
11:15 “Oh God.”
11:25 “It’s really so simple.”
11:47 “Who knew a man could give birth?” And then,
“I gave birth, to what I don’t know.”
12:10 “It’s just too amazing.” Patrick is alternately laughing
and crying at this point. “Oh God, it all makes sense now,
so simple and beautiful.”Now Patrick asked to take a break. “It was getting too intense,” he
wrote. He removed the headphones and eyeshades. “I sat up and spoke
with Tony and Krystallia. I mentioned that everyone deserved to have this
experience . . . that if everyone did, no one could ever do harm to another