compelled to grab the next cigarette or look for another drink. Each time the discomfort reemerges, he or
she feels defeated and weakened, and so the addiction carries on.
True willpower, however, is about learning how to make conscious choices. Addictions stick like glue
to everyone who wishes to overcome them. They are the “ghosts of memory” who live in our
subconscious and pop up every time the addictive substance is in sight or is imagined. The subsequent
urge is not under conscious control, hence the feeling of “dying” for a cigarette, a cup of coffee, or a bar
of chocolate. It is important, though, to realize that you always have a choice. This is all you need to
learn when it comes to overcoming an addiction.
You cannot successfully exorcise the ghost of memory by throwing away your cigarettes, avoiding
your smoking friends, or living in a smoke-free environment. Society has condemned the act of smoking
so much that many smokers already feel deprived of that sense of personal freedom they need to feel in
order to make their own choices in life. If you are a sensitive person, be aware that a nagging spouse, a
doctor, and the warning written on cigarette packs that smoking is harmful to your health may make you
feel ridden with guilt. When all of this external pressure succeeds in making you give up smoking, you
will continue to feel deprived of your free will and, therefore, look for other more socially acceptable
forms of addiction.
Making Smoking a Conscious Choice
We all remember our childhood days when our parents told us not to eat chocolate before lunch or
would not allow us to watch television when we wanted. The subconscious mind reacts negatively when it
is deprived of its ability to make choices or when it feels forced to do something against its will.
Disappointments resulting from not being able to fulfill one’s desires can add up and lead to an inner
emptiness that wants to be filled. Smoking is simply a subconscious rebellion against the external
manipulation of our freedom to choose what we want, and it appears to fill that uncomfortable space
within, at least for a little while. However, this inner lack can only subside permanently when we have
regained the freedom to make our own choices. You must know that you are free to smoke whenever you
like and however often you like. If you have a cigarette and a match to light it, you will certainly find a
way to smoke it, too.
The unconscious association of smoking, with all the other “don’ts” in your past, will be negated by
accepting your desire to smoke. I had my first cigarette when I entered high school at age ten. I felt like a
criminal because the law said I was only allowed to smoke when I was sixteen years old. My parents were
certainly strictly against smoking. Years of hiding my “secret” from my parents and my teachers left me
with no other choice but to continue smoking until I felt I had a choice. When I finally got the legal
permission to smoke, I lost interest and chose to quit. I was able to give up the habit at once, without any
withdrawal symptoms.
The first and most important step to quit smoking is to give yourself permission to smoke. Guilt
from the act of smoking will only prevent you from gaining satisfaction and urge you to have another
cigarette that may “at last” give you what you have been looking for. But you are not really looking for
the short sensation of satisfaction that smoking provides but for the lost freedom to make your own
choices in life. By trying to avoid lighting up, you also deprive yourself of this potential satisfaction. The
resistance to smoking creates powerful psychosomatic side effects. These are known as withdrawal
symptoms. Symptoms may include depression, lack of interest in life, sleeplessness, anger, nausea,
ravenous hunger, obesity, cardiovascular disease, lack of concentration, and shaking. However, these
symptoms can only manifest if you believe that you have been deprived of your freedom to smoke.