Theories_of_Personality 7th Ed Feist

Feist−Feist: Theories of

Personality, Seventh

Edition

III. Humanistic/Existential

Theories

12. May: Existential
    Psychology

(^356) © The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2009
350 Part III Humanistic/Existential Theories
our self-awareness and denying our individuality, but such choices leave us with
feelings of despair and emptiness. Thus, we escape the dread of nonbeing at the ex-
pense of a constricted existence. A healthier alternative is to face the inevitability of
death and to realize that nonbeing is an inseparable part of being.
The Case of Philip
Existential psychology is concerned with the individual’s struggle to work through
life’s experiences and to grow toward becoming more fully human. May (1981) de-
scribed this struggle in a report on one of his patients—Philip, the architect we met
in the chapter opening. Here, we continue with Philip’s story; and later we use his
experiences to illustrate May’s concepts of anxiety, intentionality, destiny, psy-
chopathology, and psychotherapy.
When Nicole told Philip that, as he well knew, she could never leave him,
Philip was surprised and confused because he knew no such thing. About a year
later, Philip learned that Nicole had had another affair; but before he could confront
her and break off their relationship, he had to leave for a 5-day business trip. By the
time he returned, Philip was able to reason that perhaps he could accept Nicole’s
right to sleep with other men. Also, Nicole convinced him that the other man didn’t
mean anything to her and that she loved only Philip.
A little later, Nicole had a third affair, one that she made sure Philip would dis-
cover. Once again, Philip was filled with anger and jealousy. But once again, Nicole
reassured him that the man meant nothing to her.
On one level, Philip wished to accept Nicole’s behavior, but on another, he felt
betrayed by her affairs. Yet, he did not seem to be able to leave her and to search for
another woman to love. He was paralyzed—unable to change his relationship with
Nicole but also unable to break it off. At this point in Philip’s life, he sought therapy
from Rollo May.
The dread of nonbeing can take the form of
isolation and alienation.