Present Over Perfect

it: if you’re not careful with your yeses, you start to say no
to some very important things without even realizing it. In
my rampant yes-yes-yes-ing, I said no, without intending to,
to rest, to peace, to groundedness, to listening, to deep and
slow connection, built over years instead of moments.
All my yeses brought me to a shallow way of living—an
exhausting, frantic lifestyle that actually ended up having
little resemblance to that deep, brave yes I was searching
for.
And so if you, like me, have said too many yeses, and
found that all that hopeful, exciting, wide-open intention has
actually left you scraped raw and empty, the word that can
change everything is no.
I know. I don’t like it either. Yes is fun and sparkly and
printed on tote bags. No? What if you saw someone wearing
a sweatshirt that just said no? I do not want to sit next to that
bundle of fun.
But no became the scalpel I wielded as I remade my life,
slicing through the tender tissue of what needed to go and
what I wanted to remain.
My mentor’s words rang in my ears: Stop. Right now.
Remake your life from the inside out. I don’t know a way to
remake anything without first taking down the existing
structures, and that’s what no does—it puts the brakes on
your screaming-fast life and gives you a chance to stop and
inspect just exactly what you’ve created for yourself, as
difficult as that might be.
It was very difficult for me to learn to say no. I did it