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Chapter 4

The Confession of

a Passionate Heart

— In Anecdote

‘I

was leading a wild life then. Father said just now that I

spent several thousand roubles in seducing young girls.

That’s a swinish invention, and there was nothing of the

sort. And if there was, I didn’t need money simply for that.

With me money is an accessory, the overflow of my heart,

the framework. To-day she would be my lady, to-morrow

a wench out of the streets in her place. I entertained them

both. I threw away money by the handful on music, riot-

ing, and Gypsies. Sometimes I gave it to the ladies, too, for

they’ll take it greedily, that must be admitted, and be pleased

and thankful for it. Ladies used to be fond of me: not all of

them, but it happened, it happened. But I always liked side-

paths, little dark back-alleys behind the main road — there

one finds adventures and surprises, and precious metal in

the dirt. I am speaking figuratively, brother. In the town I

was in, there were no such back-alleys in the literal sense,