Learning & Leading With Habits of Mind

Listening with Understanding and Empathy

If there is any secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other

person’s point of view and see things from his angle as well as from

your own.

—Henry Ford

We k n ow s t u d e n t s a r e i m p r o v i n g t h ei r l i s t e ni n g s k i l l s w h e n t h e y s e t a s i d e
their own value judgments, prejudices, and autobiographical stories to
devote their mental energies to attending to another person. They demon-
strate their understanding and empathy for another person’s idea by par-
aphrasing it accurately, building upon it, clarifying it, or giving an
example of it. We know students are listening to and internalizing others’
ideas and feelings when we hear them say statements like these:

•“Peter’s idea is... , but Sarah’s idea is.. ..”
•“Let’s try Shelley’s idea and see if it works.”
•“Let me show you how Elena solved the problem, and then I’ll
show you how I solved it.”

After paraphrasing another person’s idea, a student may probe, clar-
ify, or pose questions that extend the idea further: “I’m not sure I under-
stand. Can you explain what you mean by... ?” Empathy may be
demonstrated by taking another’s view or perspective: “I can see why
Danielle views it that way. If I were her, I’d want the same thing.” Empa-
thy for another person’s feelings or emotions is also demonstrated when
the student labels those emotions or feelings:

•“You’re upsetbecause... .”

•“You’re confusedabout... .”

•“You sure were happyabout... .”

Thinking Flexibly

When one door is shut, another one opens.

—Miguel de Cervantes

As students become more flexible in their thinking, they move from an ego-
centered view to an allocentric view—they are able to see things from oth-
ers’ perspectives. We hear them considering, expressing, or paraphrasing

180 Learning and Leading with Habits of Mind