The Psychology of Self-Esteem

(Martin Jones) #1

work as a means of evading one's flaws, shortcomings, and conflicts, is not rational. Often, however, defense-
values are irrational in both respects—as in the case of a man who seeks to escape anxiety and fake a sense of
efficacy by acquiring power over others.


The extent to which a man lacks self-esteem is the extent to which defense-values constitute the building-blocks of
his soul. The following example illustrates the process by which defense-values and pseudo-self-esteem develop,
and the psychological crisis to which they can lead.


Consider the case of a person who, as a child, is characteristically antipathetic to exerting mental effort: who rebels
against the responsibility of thinking, who resents the necessity of judgment, who prefers an undemanding state of
mental fog, and drifts at the mercy of unexamined emotions. Whenever feelings of inadequacy or anxiety penetrate
his chronic lethargy, warning him of the danger of his course, he seeks to evade them as best he can. He clings to
the guidance and authority of those around him, in order to obtain a sense of security and protection.


As a result of his policy of unquestioning obedience, his parents praise him as a "good" boy.


At school, his work is mediocre; and he feels an unadmitted resentment against the brighter boys in his class. He is
pleased whenever they show signs of unruliness and are chastised by the teacher; this proves, he feels, that they are
not "good" boys and that, notwithstanding his intellectual weakness, he is their moral superior.


He enjoys going to church, where he is informed that it is not the head that matters, but the heart—and that "the
meek shall inherit the earth."


As he grows to adulthood, he is seldom conscious of the steps by which he selects his values and goals. But,
moving like a somnambulist under the direction of subconscious orders, he is guided through all his crucial
decisions by his unacknowledged sense of impotence, his fear of independence, his longing for safety and his
antipathy to thought. These lead him unerringly to choose friends of undistinguished intelligence, to accept a job in
his uncle's hardware store, to join the same political party as his father, and to marry the girl next door whom he has
known all his life.

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