FOR THE LOVE OF THE GIFT
We all love gifts. We love the blessings that beautify our lives. We love our children, our spouses,
our parents, our friends. We love our youth and we love our health. We love our homes, our cars, our
money, and our beauty. But what happens when a gift becomes more than just a gift? What happens
when a want becomes a need, a favor becomes a dependency? What happens when a gift is no longer
only that?
What is a gift? A gift is something that did not come from us. A gift is given—and can be taken. We
are not the original owners of a gift. A gift is also not necessary for our survival. It comes and goes.
We want and love to receive gifts—but they are not necessary to our existence. We don’t depend on
them. We don’t live to receive them and do not die if we don’t. They are not our air or our food, but
we love them. Who does not love a gift? Who does not love to receive many gifts? And we ask Al
Kareem (The Most Generous) to never deprive us of His gifts. Yet, a gift is still not where we place
our dependencies, nor do we die without them.
Remember that there are two places to hold something: in the hand or in the heart. Where do we hold
a gift? A gift is not held in the heart. It is held in the hand. So when the gift is taken, the loss creates
pain to the hand—but not to the heart. And anyone who has lived long enough in this life knows that
the pain of the hand is not like the pain of the heart. The pain of the heart is to lose an object of
attachment, addiction, dependency. That pain is like no other pain. It’s not normal pain. And that pain
is how we will know we just lost an object of attachment—a gift that was held in the wrong place.
The pain of the hand is also pain—but different. So different. The pain of the hand is to lose, but not
something we are dependent upon. When a gift is taken out of the hand—or never given at all—we
will feel the normal human pain of loss. We will grieve. We will cry. But the pain is only in the hand;
our heart remains whole and beating. This is because the heart is only for God.
And God alone.
If we examine the things in our lives that cause us the most pain or fear, we can start to pinpoint which
gifts have been stored in the wrong place. If not being able to get married, be with the person we
want, have a child, find a job, look a certain way, get a degree, or reach a certain status has consumed
us, we need to make a change. We need to shift where the gift is being stored; we need to move the
gift out of our heart and back to our hand where it belongs.
We can love these things. It’s human to love. And it’s human to want the gifts we love. But our
problem begins when we put the gift in our heart, and God in our hand. Ironically, we believe that we
can live without God—but if we were to lose a gift, we crumble and can’t go on.
As a result, we can easily put God aside, but our heart cannot live without the gift. In fact, we can
even put God aside for the sake of the gift. So it becomes easy for us to delay or miss a prayer, but
just don’t deprive me of my work meeting, my movie, my outing, my shopping, my class, my party, or
my basketball game. It’s easy to take interest bearing loans or sell alcohol, just don’t deprive me of
my profit margin and prestigious career. Just don’t deprive me of my brand new car, and over-the-top
home. It’s easy to have a haram relationship or date, but just don’t deprive me of the one I ‘love’. It’s
easy to take off, or not wear hijab—just don’t deprive me of my beauty, my looks, my marriage
proposals, or my image in front of people. It’s easy to put aside the modesty that God says is