PAIN, LOSS AND THE PATH TO GOD
I still remember the desperation. In the deep disappointment which often follows self-reflection, I
turned to my Creator to plead. I turned to plead—but not for what can be measured, bought, sold, or
traded. It was desperation for a truer currency. With my flaws suddenly made open to me, I became
desperate to be liberated from the tyranny of my own nafs (lower desires). I became desperate to be a
better person.
And so, handing my heart to Allah (swt), I prayed that I might be purified. And while I had always
held to firm faith that God is the Hearer of prayers, I never imagined when—or how—that prayer
would be answered.
Soon after that prayer, I experienced one of the most difficult periods of my life. During the
experience, I braced myself, and prayed for guidance and strength. But never did I see any connection
to my previous prayer. It was not until that time had passed, and reflecting on it, I realized how I had
grown. Suddenly, I remembered my prayer. Suddenly I felt that the difficulty was itself the answer to
the prayer I had made so desperately.
The words of Rumi explain beautifully: “When someone beats a rug with a stick, he is not beating the
rug—his aim is to get rid of the dust. Your inward is full of dust from the veil of ‘I’-ness, and that
dust will not leave all at once. With every cruelty and every blow, it departs little by little from the
heart’s face, sometimes in sleep and sometimes in wakefulness.”
So often we experience things in life, and yet never see the connections between them. When we are
given a hardship, or feel pain, we often fail to consider that the experience may be the direct cause or
result of another action or experience. Sometimes we fail to recognize the direct connection between
the pain in our lives and our relationship with Allah (swt).
That pain and adversity serves many purposes in life. Times of hardship can act as both an indication
as well as a cure, for our broken relationship with our Creator.
Times of difficulty test our faith, our fortitude and our strength. During these times, the level of our
iman becomes manifest. Adversity strips away our masks, revealing the truth behind mere declaration
of faith. Hardships separate those whose declaration is true from those who are false.
Allah says: “Do the people think that they will be left to say, ‘We believe’ and they will not be
tested? But We have certainly tested those before them, and Allah will surely make evident those who
are truthful, and He will surely make evident the liars.” (Qur’an, 29:2-3).
Hardships test us. Hardships can also be a blessing and a sign of Allah’s love. The Prophet
Muhammad said: “Whenever Allah wills good for a person, He subjects him to adversity.”
[Bukhari]
And yet most people cannot fathom how adversity could possibly be good. Many do not recognize that
hardship is in fact a purifier, which brings people back to their Lord. What happens to the arrogant
who are suddenly put in a situation they cannot control? What happens to a man who finds himself
stranded on the ocean in the middle of a storm? What happens when the ship that is ‘unsinkable’
becomes the tale of the Titanic?