numberofsyllablesper drug: 4.1.It wasdizzying.He
could take befacizimab, carboplatin, temozolomide,
thalidomide, vincristine, vinblastine, or some other
optionsImissedinmynotes.Shedescribedavarietyof
differentcombinationsofthedrugstoconsideraswell.
Theonly thingshedid not offeror discusswasdoing
nothing. She suggested he take a combination of
temozolomide and befacizimab. She thought that his
likelihoodoftumorresponse—thatis,ofthetumor’snot
growingfurther—wasaround 30 percent.Sheseemedto
notwanttosounddiscouraging,though,sosheaddedthat
formanypatientsthetumorbecomes“likealow-grade
chronic illness” that could be watched.
“You could be back on a tennis court this summer,
hopefully,” she added.
Icouldn’tbelieveshe’dreallysaidthat.Thenotionthat
hemightevergetbackona tenniscourtwasdaffy—it
wasnotaremotelyrealistichope—andIwasspittingmad
thatshewoulddanglethatinfrontofmyfather.Isawhis
expressionasheimaginedhimselfbackonatenniscourt.
Butitprovedtobeoneofthosemomentsthathisbeinga
physicianwasaclearbenefit.Hequicklyrealizeditwas
justafantasyand,howeverreluctantly,heturnedaway
fromit.Instead,heaskedaboutwhatthetreatmentwould
do to his life.
“Rightnow,Iamfoggyin myhead.Ihavetinnitus.I
haveradiatingarmpains.Ihavetroublewalking.That’s
what’sgettingmedown.Willthedrugsmakeanyofthis
worse?”