livedevenlonger.Sheandhersisterendedupspending
their entire lives in the parental home.
As different as Emily Dickinson’s parents’ life in
AmericaseemsfromthatofSitaramGawande’sinIndia,
bothreliedonsystemsthatsharedtheadvantageofeasily
resolvingthequestionofcarefortheelderly.Therewas
noneedtosaveupforaspotinanursinghomeorarrange
for meals-on-wheels. It was understood that parents
wouldjustkeeplivingintheirhome,assistedbyoneor
more of the children they’d raised. In contemporary
societies, bycontrast, old ageand infirmityhavegone
frombeingashared,multigenerationalresponsibilitytoa
more or less private state—something experienced
largelyaloneorwiththeaidofdoctorsandinstitutions.
How did this happen? How did we go from Sitaram
Gawande’s life to Alice Hobson’s?
Oneansweristhatoldageitselfhaschanged.Inthepast,
survivingintooldagewasuncommon,andthosewhodid
surviveservedaspecialpurposeasguardiansoftradition,
knowledge,and history. They tendedto maintain their
statusandauthorityasheadsofthehouseholduntildeath.
In manysocieties, elders not only commandedrespect
and obedience but also led sacred rites and wielded
politicalpower.Somuchrespectaccruedtotheelderly
thatpeopleusedtopretendtobeolderthantheywere,not
younger,whengivingtheirage.Peoplehavealwayslied
about how old they are. Demographers call the
phenomenon “ageheaping” and have devisedcomplex
quantitative contortions to correct for all the lying in
censuses. They have also noticed that, during the
eighteenthcentury,intheUnitedStatesandEurope,the