Iftobehumanistobelimited,thentheroleofcaring
professions and institutions—from surgeons to nursing
homes—oughttobeaidingpeopleintheirstrugglewith
thoselimits.Sometimeswecanofferacure,sometimes
onlyasalve,sometimesnoteventhat.Butwhateverwe
canoffer,ourinterventions,andtherisksandsacrifices
theyentail,arejustifiedonlyiftheyservethelargeraims
ofaperson’slife.Whenweforgetthat,thesufferingwe
inflictcanbebarbaric.Whenwerememberitthegood
we do can be breathtaking.
I never expected that among the most meaningful
experiencesI’dhaveasadoctor—and,really,asahuman
being—wouldcomefromhelpingothersdealwithwhat
medicinecannotdoaswellaswhatitcan.Butit’sproved
true,whetherwithapatientlikeJewelDouglass,afriend
likePegBachelder,orsomeoneIlovedasmuchasmy
father.
MYFATHERCAMEtohisendneverhavingtosacrificehis
loyaltiesorwhohewas,andforthatIamgrateful.He
wasclear abouthiswishesevenforafterhisdeath.He
leftinstructions formy mother,my sister,and me.He
wantedusto crematehisbodyandspreadtheashesin
threeplacesthat wereimportanttohim—in Athens,in
the village where he’d grownup, and on the Ganges
River,whichissacredtoallHindus.AccordingtoHindu
mythology, when a person’s remains touch the great
river, he or she is assured eternal salvation. So for
millennia,familieshavebroughttheashesoftheirloved
ones to the Ganges and spread them upon its waters.
A few months after my father’s death we therefore
followedinthosefootsteps.WetraveledtoVaranasi,the