spendsayearormoreofoldagedisabledandlivingina
nursinghome(atmorethanfivetimestheyearlycostof
independent living), which is a destination Felix was
desperately hoping to avoid.
He was trying to note the changes he experienced
objectively,likethegeriatricianheis.Henoticedthathis
skinhaddriedout.Hissenseofsmellwasdiminished.
Hisnightvisionhadbecomepoor,andhetiredeasily.He
hadbeguntolose teeth.Buthetookwhatmeasureshe
could.Heusedlotiontoavoidskincracks;heprotected
himselffromtheheat;he gotonan exercisebikethree
times a week; he saw a dentist twice a year.
Hewasmostconcernedaboutthechangesinhisbrain.“I
can’tthinkasclearlyasIusedto,”hesaid.“Iusedtobe
abletoreadtheNewYorkTimesinhalfanhour.Nowit
takesmeanhourandahalf.”Eventhen,hewasn’tsure
that he understood as muchas he did before,and his
memorygavehimtrouble.“IfIgobackandlookatwhat
I’ve read, I recognize that I went through it, but
sometimes Idon’treally rememberit,”he said.“It’s a
matter of short-term registration. It’s hard to get the
signal in and have it stay put.”
Hemadeuseofmethodsthatheoncetaughthispatients.
“ItrytodeliberatelyfocusonwhatI’mdoing,ratherthan
do it automatically,” he told me. “I haven’t lost the
automaticityofaction, but Ican’trelyonitthewayI
usedto.Forexample,Ican’tthinkaboutsomethingelse
and get dressed and be sure I’ve gotten all the way
dressed.”Herecognizedthatthestrategyoftryingtobe
moredeliberate didn’talwayswork,and he sometimes
toldmethesamestorytwiceinaconversation.Thelines