abovetheknee.WhatFelixfearedmosthadhappened.
Herneedsbecamemassivelymorethanhecouldhandle.
Bella was forced to moveto the nursing home floor,
whereshecouldhaveround-the-clockaidesandnurses
looking after her.
Youmightthinkthat thiswouldhavebeena relieffor
both Bella and Felix, lifting all kinds of burdens of
physicalcarefrom them.But theexperience wasmore
complicated than that. On the one hand, the staff
memberswerenothingbutprofessional.Theytookover
most of the tasks Felix had long managed so
laboriously—thebathing,toileting,dressing,and allthe
otherroutineneedsofapersonwhohasbecomeseverely
disabled.Theyfreedhimtospendhistimeashewished,
whetherwithBellaoronhisown.Butforallthestaff
members’ efforts, Felix and Bella could find their
presenceexasperating.Some tendedtoBellamoreasa
patientthanasaperson.Shehadacertainwaysheliked
herhairbrushed,forinstance,butnooneaskedorfigured
itout.Felixhadworkedoutthebestmethodtocutupher
foodsoshecouldswallowitwithoutdifficulty,howto
positionhersoshewasmostcomfortable,howtodress
herthewayshepreferred.Butnomatterhowmuchhe
tried to show thestaff, manyof them did notsee the
point. Sometimes, in exasperation, he’d give up and
simplyredowhatevertheyhaddone,causingconflictand
resentment.
“We were getting in each other’s way,” Felix said.
He worried too that the unfamiliar surroundings were
makingBellaconfused.Afterafewdays,hedecidedto