CHAPTER 23

Where Do You Want to Go?

Big love takes us to high places.

Every one of my kids went on a ten-year-old birthday adventure with

Dad. For each of them, it always started with the question, “Where do you
want to go?” This question wasn’t intended to ask, What do you want to
see? It was more important than that, more charged with possibility.
“Where do you want to go?” really meant, “Who are you becoming, and
where can we go to help you get closer to that?” Lindsey, our oldest,
chose London for high tea because she’s half Mary Poppins and all
courage. Richard chose climbing Half Dome because he never backs
down from a good challenge. Adam chose to ride across the desert on dirt
bikes because, even then, he was a guy who loved adventure.
Guess who turned ten? Charlie!
I felt like I was ten years old all over again when I got on my knees
and asked him in my most enthusiastic voice, “Charlie, where do you
want to go?”
He didn’t miss a beat and shouted, “Mount Kilimanjaro!”
I wasn’t expecting that one at all. I asked him if he would rather go
back to Disneyland or to Sea World, or maybe we could go to one of
those indoor climbing gyms? Not a chance. His mind was made up. He
wanted to climb the highest mountain in Africa. I think it’s because he
wanted to prove to himself he could ascend just about anything. A few
months later, I got mountaineering clothes and two plane tickets, and we
headed for Tanzania.
When we got to the foot of Mount Kilimanjaro, someone pointed up