Educated by Tara Westover

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prop himself against the pickup, then went back to work.


The facts after this point are even more hazy.
The story I heard was that fifteen minutes later Shawn wandered
onto the site. Dad thought he was ready to work and told him to climb
onto the pallet, and Shawn, who never liked being told what to do,
started screaming at Dad about everything—the equipment, the
granary designs, his pay. He screamed himself hoarse, then just when
Dad thought he had calmed down, he gripped Dad around the waist
and flung him like a sack of grain. Before Dad could scramble to his
feet Shawn took off, leaping and howling and laughing, and Luke and
Benjamin, now sure something was very wrong, chased after him. Luke
reached him first but couldn’t hold him; then Benjamin added his
weight and Shawn slowed a little. But it wasn’t until all three men
tackled him—throwing his body to the ground, where, because he was
resisting, his head hit hard—that he finally lay still.


No one has ever described to me what happened when Shawn’s head
struck that second time. Whether he had a seizure, or vomited, or lost
consciousness, I’m not sure. But it was so chilling that someone—
maybe Dad, probably Benjamin—dialed 911, which no member of my
family had ever done before.


They were told a helicopter would arrive in minutes. Later the
doctors would speculate that when Dad, Luke and Benjamin had
wrestled Shawn to the ground—and he’d sustained a concussion—he
was already in critical condition. They said it was a miracle he hadn’t
died the moment his head hit the ground.


I struggle to imagine the scene while they waited for the chopper.
Dad said that when the paramedics arrived, Shawn was sobbing,
begging for Mother. By the time he reached the hospital, his state of
mind had shifted. He stood naked on the gurney, eyes bulging,
bloodshot, screaming that he would rip out the eyes of the next bastard
who came near him. Then he collapsed into sobs and finally lost
consciousness.



SHAWN LIVED THROUGH THE NIGHT.


In the morning I drove to Buck’s Peak. I couldn’t explain why I
wasn’t rushing to my brother’s bedside. I told Mother I had to work.

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