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But it is not essential for them. Past experiences allow them to not
be totally turned off if they are not involved. The Generation X
cohorts, however, react adversely to being excluded in decisions
about their own jobs. Raised largely as latchkey children, many
will resist your efforts if you don’t collaborate. This stresses the
importance of individualizing your approach for each employee
while underscoring the universality of the value.
Confidentiality
Confidentiality is the result of the rare ability to keep quiet.
Some managers talk when they should be silent — often to prove
(usually to themselves) that they are in a position of power. The
most successful leaders are those who hold their own counsel. It’s
the discipline to stop yourself and not give away confidences. The
moment you betray a confidence, trust is lost. And when you lose
an employee’s trust, it’s almost impossible to get it back.
This is essential for a coach who deals with people’s
confidences and their confessions of personal weaknesses
and insecurities.
For instance, a manager discovered (through individual
performance-appraisal discussions) that two of his employees
shared the problem of having alcoholic spouses. Thinking the two
might be encouraged by knowing that fact about each other, the
manager shared the news with one of them. When the second
employee discovered that someone else knew about his problem,
he resigned immediately. Moral? Even when sharing
confidential information might seem justified, it isn’t. Coaching
implies privacy.
Respect
Respect involves a manager’s perceived attitude toward the
individuals he leads. You may highly esteem your team members,
but if they don’t perceive that esteem — if it is contradicted by
your failure to share goals, your unwillingness to become
involved, your inability to exercise patience — you communicate
disrespect. Successful coaches show respect by listening,
Getting Results Is All About YouOnce you lose an
employee’s trust,
it’s almost
impossible to
get it back.