Coaching, Mentoring and Managing: A Coach Guidebook

66

1. Listen to what the speaker is saying.
   Do you understand what was said well enough to write it
   down? If not, ask questions.


2. Listen to what is meant.
   Does the speaker’s tone contradict the words (i.e.,
   sarcasm) ... does she “load” the words to sell a point
   of view?
   “I think we should buy the new system — especially if we
   have to meet the quotas you forecast.”


3. “Listen” to the speaker’s body language.
   You don’t have to be a psychologist to benefit from the
   full message your team member sends as she speaks
   verbally and nonverbally. For instance:
   (a) Is her facial expression (smile) inconsistent with other
   nonverbal clues (clenched fists)?
   (b) Are gestures saying something that words alone
   cannot (i.e., tapping fingers revealing boredom,
   nodding head to communicate understanding,
   scratching head in confusion)?
   (c) Does the person’s posture suggest special meaning
   (i.e., slumped wearily in chair ... seated fearfully on
   chair edge ... pacing the floor while talking)?


4. Monitor your own nonverbal messages.
   Does your use of eye contact show genuine interest? Or
   do you look as if you’re preparing a response while the
   person is still speaking? Or, equally bad, are you checking
   your watch during the conversation?


5. Ask yourself, “Can team members who talk to me
   expect empathy ... or judgment?”
   Never give people the feeling that you have prejudged
   their communications. Your respect for a team member’s
   ideas and feelings builds up her esteem ... even if you
   ultimately disagree with her opinion. But, when you show
   disagreement even before she has “made a case,” you risk
   wounding ego and self-esteem that may never
   fully recover.

Coaching, Mentoring and Managing

2

Does your use of

eye contact show

genuine interest?

T

E

A

M

F

L

Y

Team-Fly®