If powering through doesn't work, then try slowing down and
breaking the approach into small pieces. The micro-stepping technique is
a little harder, but it never fails if you stay honest, and focus.
When your anxiety gets so high that it's paralyzing you, it means that
you've given your mind and body too difficult a challenge. Try breaking
the task down into smaller pieces.
For example, "I'm going to talk to that really attractive woman," may
be way too much for you. So break the approach down into a few very
small, very not scary steps.
Start like this: "I’m going to walk in her direction."Now that may sound ridiculous, like it barely relates to talking to the
woman, but that’s the point. You’re using small steps that don’t induce
anxiety to help you build momentum. Once you’re moving in her
direction, set another goal for yourself, "Once I’m standing near her, I’m
going to say, ‘hey, quick question.’" If you can utter those words, you’ve
gone past the point of no return. It would be more awkward to leave
without asking the question than it would be to ask it and open the group
up.
By taking it one small step at a time, you end up in conversation. The
anxiety is likely surging through your body at this point, but it didn't stop
you from getting to where you needed to be. Use it. Let it be a little extra
energy to give excitement behind the interaction.
What’s great about this exercise is not only how effective it is, but
that it works whenever you have to do something that induces anxiety.
Try using it when you have to go for a kiss, or ask a girl out on a date.
Small steps will lead you to success.