I began talking about my life, the various changes I'd been through,
and how I now teach men how to best present themselves to romantically
connect with the women they desire. She shared her own romantic ideas
about how a woman should be wooed, "All you need to do is tell the girl
that you like her. That's all we really want."
"I think it's a bit more complicated than that.""No, it's not. That's all you need to do." Mary was scrolling through
some texts on her phone, and I tap her on the shoulder. She turns and
looks at me. In as a genuine voice as I could muster, I said, "Hey, I just
wanted to let you know, I really do like you."
Her eyes light up and she asks, "Can I buy you a beer?"I set out to make the point that winning over a woman is more than
just conveying interest; what I forgot was that conveying interest was the
exact right next move to do with Mary. I'd accidentally timed it perfectly.
The results were a free Guinness and a once again furious Lacey.
"You're too smooth! You came over here. You talked to me just long
enough to make me comfortable. Then you start hitting on my friend. Oh
man, aren't you clever!"
"Listen, I don't know why things keep getting weird. Thank you so
much for the drink, Mary," I down a few gulps and continue, "I really
think everyone got the wrong idea about me. You're both really cool, but
just to prove that I don't have any ulterior motives, here's what I'm going
to do: After I finish this beer, I'm going to walk out of here. I'm not going
to ask for either of your numbers. Neither of you will ever see or hear
from me again. Then you will know I was never up to anything
malicious."