If she says, “This waiter is really a jerk. We have been waiting for
our check for fifteen minutes.”...
DON’T SAY DO SAY
“I can’t believe it. Those
people at that table over there
got their check and now
they’re leaving. I’ll go find
him.”“Well, they’re busy today. I am
sure he’s doing his best.”“Yeah, he’s ignoring us. I can’t
believe they have so few
waiters.”“It’s not his fault; they’re short
of staff.”“If he doesn’t come soon we
could be late to the movie. I’ll
try to get his attention.”“Don’t worry, we’re not in a
hurry. We can still make the
movie.”When a woman is feeling resentful, the last thing she wants
is for a man to minimize the problem about which she is upset.
She primarily needs to talk it out, vent her frustrations, and
feel that someone is on her side. This is what intimacy is all
about. She needs to feel that he is her ally.
To feel most loved, a woman needs to open up, share all of
herself, and experience that she is still loved. Learning to cope
with a woman’s tendency to move up and down like a wave
is one of the most difficult challenges of dating for a man.
A WOMAN’S GREATEST CHALLENGE
Women also have a challenge with their male partners. Just as
women move up and down as a result of intimacy, men move
back and forth. When a man experiences increasing
100 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.