HE SAYS SHE HEARS
“You shouldn’t be so sensitive.
If you were normal you would
not have felt so hurt. I didn’t
do anything wrong. I was just
talking with some old friends.”“I’m sorry that I left you for a
while at the party. I didn't
think you would feel left out.
I was just talking with some
old friends. I certainly didn’t
mean to hurt you. I thought...”
“There was no good reason for
the way you spoke to me. I
said some mean things, but not
any worse than you. You were
the one who started it...”“I’m really sorry about the
things I said. I was just really
offended by the way you
spoke to me. When you
said...”To become more adept in the art of apology, a man needs
to remember that with women explanations don’t work. There
is another approach that works like a magic charm.
THE ART OF APOLOGIZING TO A WOMAN
The art of apologizing to a woman has three steps.
- Say You Are Sorry
When a woman is upset she first wants to hear that you are
sorry. When you say you are sorry it signals to her that you
are open to hearing her feelings. Briefly say you are sorry
without giving any explanation. The least number of words
creates the best effect.
- Listen to Her Response
When you say you are sorry, then she feels you care enough
to give her the opportunity to talk about her feelings.
120 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.